Steak & Burgers

If you have female friends, a facebook page, or a television you have undoubtedly heard people talking about Tony Parker and Eva Longoria getting divorced because of Tony sleeping with his teammates wife. This is the latest round of shocked public outcry over random celebrity cheating on his hot wife, why people are still so shocked and appalled by this I will never understand.

Is Eva Longoria hot? Fuck Yes. Would most guys consider wrestling a grizzly bear armed only with a whiffle ball bat for a night with her? Another resounding yes, yet Tony still cheated on her and the question I keep hearing is “How could he cheat on someone that’s so hot?”. Theres a couple of different reasons in my opinion.

1) Monogamy just isn’t natural for most men and even some women. (You do your thing Leann Rimes, you madam are a pioneer!) Someone long ago decided that men and women should shack up with one partner and that’s who you should be with forever. My theory on this is a bunch of guys who couldn’t get laid got together and came up with this bullshit idea so all the Alpha Males in their tribe or village or mud huts couldn’t take all the women. Somehow these evil geniuses succeeded in their plan and now centuries later we are still tied down by the archaic practice of monogamy.

2) Most people think that if you’re going to cheat on your wife or girlfriend you should at least trade up. In my opinion I think Tony made a lateral move as both of those women are really hot although I’ll take a hot white girl over a hot latina since there is far less chance of a white chick stabbing you, Latina chicks are fucking nuts. This is the reason women were so damn pissed at Tiger Woods, Elin Nordgren is a good-looking chick by just about anyones standards even though every time I saw her she was in workout clothes and looked like she was going to Costco. When the pictures came out of some of the broads Tiger was banging I thought girls heads were going to explode. They couldnt for one second believe that he would cheat on a swedish model with some busted bottle rat from the Vegas club scene. I tried to explain Tigers actions to my female friends in the following way. My favorite food without a shadow of a doubt is a Medium Rare filet from a great steakhouse

but do I eat it everyday? No. You know why? Because sometimes I just want a hamburger.

Sleeping with the same girl forever sounds terrible, it gets old and boring and routine and 7 years of eating filet every day that’s where Tiger and Tony were. Sitting at the best table in the house with a great bottle of red waiting for a perfectly cooked steak but looking out the window longingly at the Golden Arches across the street.

For the last 5 years or so Hip Hop music has been absolutely terrible with the exception of a few artists, one of them being Kid Cudi. His new album came out last week and its been in heavy rotation. (all the new songs keep getting pulled so heres one of my favorites off his last album)


7 responses to “Steak & Burgers

  1. Fuck monogamy!
    People should embrace open relationships more and stop judging us who love being single 😉

  2. Absolutely Brilliant post

  3. Kid Cudi blows. Death to emo rappers.

    Anyway, I think you’re missing something that the rest of us just don’t know: what was the home life like for these guys? Eva works a lot, and is 7 years older than Tony. Sandra Bullock worked triple overtime shifts. Tiger’s wife was getting old and had kids. Who knows if these women were putting out? Still keeping things hot? My guess is that they weren’t. And what else is hotter than cheating.

  4. Who the fuck knows and actually cares.

    It’d be interesting to see why Erin Barry cheated as well; not much is being reported on a WOMAN cheating. Hmmm…

  5. Pingback: Linkage is Good for You: Redhead Appreciation Edition

  6. Variety is the spice of life. Even if you’re banging a hot redhead, sometimes you just have the urge for Chinese.

  7. Pingback: Crabs In a Bucket | Going Dolo

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