Keeping it classy

So the weather has finally turned which leads to one of my favorite past times, the barbecue. At the first sign of warm weather my friends and I instantly decided to fire up the grill and round-up as many friends and random girls as we could. It’s amazing how many people you can attract with booze, food, and sunshine. We decided to flashback to our college undergrad days and make jungle juice (I mean who the hell doesn’t like jungle juice) and also purchased natty light for old times sake as well. Natty Light paired with steaks from Whole Foods is truly living the dream my  friends!

We ended up with about 25 people or so at the house, pretty decent for such an impromptu get together. The booze was flowing freely and before you know it everyone was drunk off their ass. A girl I’ve been talking to and I ended up in the laundry room making out a bit. Since the laundry room was right next to the kitchen we figured it would be only a matter of time before someone caught us so we decided to do what any other classy professional adults would do and we took our impromptu makeout party to the garage. In the garage things REALLY escalated quickly with one thing leading to another her pants were down and I was plowing her from behind. (not my classiest moment but the raw passion of it was great)

While losing all track of time I hear the door open as my friend comes looking for us trying to catch us in the act (what an asshole right?!) which he of course did. Now I don’t know if you’ve ever been caught having sex before but it’s quite a jarring experience. I quickly pull out and pull up my shorts as if that would prove our innocence but right as I do she was about to cum and she proceeds to squirt ALL over me. Now I’m not talking a little wet I’m talking straight porno style gusher from her vagina. I happened to be wearing khaki shorts and it now looks as if someone has thrown a glass of water all over them! With nowhere to hide  (I mean were in a fucking garage for Gods sake) we head inside to face the music. As we enter the house we receive thunderous applause, whistles, and more jokes than I can begin to remember almost all of which aimed at my soaked shorts. Note to self dont bang girls in garages anymore.

Frank Ocean has been in constant rotation for me for about the last month. As soon as the sun goes down and I want something chill to listen to its been Mr. Ocean. If you like his album you can actually download it for free.


4 responses to “Keeping it classy

  1. The Quest For 50

    Haha that’s an awesome story, man. Good to have you back blogging again.

  2. Thanks man, good to be back now that work has calmed down a bit. Looks like things have been pretty hectic with you as well with the new gig. The Facebook messages are awesome by the way, hahaha.

  3. That shit’s fucking hilarious.

  4. Pingback: Linkage is Good for You: Not a Plug Edition

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