Shut The Fuck Up

Marcus Aurelius had a dream that was the Manosphere and this is not it, this is not it. So after successfully being brow beaten by Fly Fresh and Young and Dagonet to write more here I am before you, your humble author ready to jump back in. While I stopped writing for a bit I never really left the Manosphere, I was actively tweeting my ass off and reading everyone elses blogs along with Rooshs forum. My problem was boredom, randomly writing about banging girls wasn’t all that interesting to me since banging random girls is a pretty regular occurrence but recently something has caught my eye which finally got me off the bench and back in the game so hang onto your dicks and let’s get to it.

When I first stumbled across this little universe of ours I couldn’t get enough of it, while I’ve never read a book on game I loved everyone’s interesting stories, views on the opposite sex, and being exposed to other like-minded individuals who pushed me to be better. In the past few months though our corner of the internet has become far more polluted with negativity, I recently tweeted about needing to cut some friends out of my real life and feel as if it needs to be done with my online persona as well….but not before one last-ditch effort to save my brethren.

Now I don’t think its a stretch for most people to acknowledge Roosh being one of the most respected guys in the game and I’ve got the same respect for him as most. From his blog posts, to his rarely put out videos (which I actually enjoy the most), to his biggest contribution as a whole…the forum, the guy is a first ballot hall of famer. The hall of fame sports analogy here works perfect because much like people trying to emulate their favorite sports stars I feel as if many guys who look up to Roosh do the same with his opinion of American women. Now its well documented that he’s not the biggest fan of American women and at times I agree with him, a large amount of them are unbearable but not even close to as many as you would be lead to believe by reading through everyone’s blogs and tweets. The problem is while hating the new stereotypical American girl is only a small sliver of what Roosh contributes to everyone it’s all a lot of you have latched onto and your woe is me “American Girls Suck” attitude is a fucking cop-out.

Guys do you want to know why you’re not getting the girls that want to look after you, cook for you, and submit to you as a man……its because you’re no fucking catch yourself. Stop bitching about how shitty American women are and realize how shitty YOU are! Pick up a book, go to the gym, travel, commit wholly to making yourself a better and more interesting person and I can promise you there will be quality women attracted to you. I’m not sure when we devolved into a group of pussies sitting around bitching about the lack of quality women but it needs to stop because it doesn’t matter. If you’re half as Alpha as most of you claim to be or strive to be even with a diminished dating pool  you’re going to go out there and take down the few remaining good chicks because Joe Average dude in America is on just as fast a decline as the women were bitching about. This thing that we have all worked so hard to create isn’t about tearing down shitty women, we all know they’re out there we get it, it’s about making all of us better men so let’s get back to what’s important……us.

We have a saying back in Texas my friends and I lived by…….”Wake Up and Be Somebody”, I hope you all do.

Songs a little old but its a good summertime hip hop song and should at least make you bob your head a little bit.

Calm Down Superfan

Recently I was out with some friends at Happy Hour when talked turned to the NBA playoff game that was on. After the discussion I thought about how little I gave a fuck about the game. Then I began to try to remember when the last time was that I watched an entire professional sporting event, since I had no shot in hell at remembering that I then tried to remember when I actually GAVE a shit about one and still no answer. I was kind of confused by this as someone who played sports and grew up obsessing over them when did I suddenly stop caring about them?

Outside of general like for the sport they are watching I believe a lot of guys (a lot not ALL) like sports for one of two reasons  1) their lives are kind of boring and sports is a way to pass the time or 2) their lives are crappy and they lose themselves in hero worship.When thinking back to my childhood the reason I cared about sports so much is because I wanted to BE Michael Jordan or Joe Montana or whoever else was the current superstar. I looked up to them, I idolized them, and to me they could do no wrong, they were like real life superheroes. When I got older though I stopped looking at them this way and athletes just became some dudes who could throw a ball further than me or jump higher than me, I stopped looking at them through a childs eyes and they became infinitely less interesting. Talking about girls, making money, business, and a host of other subjects became more fun to me than talking about sports since they were all things I could directly control. I know guys who if their favorite teams loses a game it ruins their day, I’ve seen two guys I know almost come to blows over Kobe Bryant. I mean neither of these guys knows Kobe Bryant and you can bet your ass Kobe doesn’t give a fuck about them so what would possess two grown men to fight over another grown man who they’ve never met!? When I see a grown man wearing a sports jersey to a bar screaming at a tv all I can do is shake my head. The only time you should be wearing a jersey is if you’re playing.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't play for the Spurs, don't quote me on that though.

With this being said I still watch SportsCenter and have a general grasp of whats going on in the sporting world and can appreciate a great play in any sport. It’s just nowhere near the top of what I feel important anymore, I wish I could say the same for a lot of other guys.

Song of the week by my man Donnis, the weather is warming up and this song has got a good uptempo summertime kind of feel to it.

Hit a blog # milestone this week so thanks to everyone that reads. Follow me on twitter at http://twitter.com/goingdolo

Girlfriends, Herpes, and Homosexuality

Now if you follow me on twitter you may have somewhat of an idea what this post is about if you don’t stop fucking reading go follow me and comeback, It will make your life at least a little better hearing my inane ramblings.

 
So about a month ago I was at a wine tasting, if you’ve never been to one I highly suggest you start going. Theyre essentially huge parties where everyone gets hammered under the guise of being classy and drinking wine, girls LOVE these things. This particular wine tasting happens to be a really big one that my friends and I all go to every year and it’s always a blast.
Since this thing is classy (well at least it pretends to be) we all dressed up and I must say your boy was looking good. I’ve been on a bit of hot streak lately so in an environment like this I knew it was going to be a good day. Theres actually a few more stories from this one event that I could probably write about and a few more girls I’m in the process of closing that I met there so I will undoubtedly reference this event again in the future. For the sake of keeping my posts relatively short and manageable to digest quickly I’ll focus on one individual girl that I met and the ensuing drama.
 
As one of my friends and I are walking around looking for some winerys that we are familiar with we walk past a tall brunette whose neck cranes to stare back at me. With my radar always on I catch it but make no reference to it or her but my friend caught it as well and was quick to point out “Man, that chick just eye fucked the shit out of you!” thanks for the player helps but please believe I saw it. Now right after this happens all of a sudden I hear someone call out “Jack, Jack” in a familiar voice I turnaround to find a different friends girlfriend with said hot brunette in tow. Turns out they worked together and the brunette commented on me to her (told you I was looking good) to which my buddys girlfriend told her that she knew me and would introduce us. Now anytime you’re introduced to a chick like this its super awkward as she now knows that I know that she likes me but its great if youre the one with the upper hand. We exchanged pleasantries then I excused myself so I could go see my other friends and told her wed catch up later. No need to waste time on her now that I know it’s already teed up right?!
After the event we all met up and her and I made plans to hangout. We made out for a while and I think I could have smashed that night but I was wasted and if you’ve read “Chasing The Dragon” you know I like to bring it on my first performance and that damn for sure wasnt happening. We also talked about going to see the “Childish Gambino” concert in a couple of weeks so all was well. Now Ive got a pretty short attention span with girls and based on our conversations I could tell this bitch was kind of crazy so my friends and I decided to roll to the concert by ourselves, I don’t think this is a big deal since I havent talked to this girl about the show since that night…..BIG MISTAKE.
Now if you know me (which obviously none of you do) you would know that I’m pretty chill almost to a fault and never show stress. When I actually do have a problem I handle it behind closed doors as not to air my dirty laundry, this girl did NOT live her life the same way. If you know anything about the show we were at the dude starts off with stand up comedy before breaking into a full-blown hip hop show, sounds weird I know but its awesome, I digress. While he’s performing his stand up I hear a shrill voice scream in this quiet ass room “There he is!” Now I’m 6’5 so its pretty easy to find me in any crowd I turnaround to see the voice and see her and her friend coming at me. From the beginning they’re both clearly drunk as fuck and they both start going off yelling at me. I quickly usher these two fucking crazies out to the back patio so everyone can enjoy the show in peace without hearing two nutty bitches yelling at me. As were on the patio they’re both unloading and I’m just kind of zoned out waiting for them to finish so I can listen to the show till the girl drops this on me “I don’t know why you don’t want to fuck me!? Every guy I meet wants to fuck me so you must either have a girlfriend, herpes, or you’re fucking gay” At this point Id finally had enough so I put them both in their place told them to get the fuck out of my face and wed talk about it tomorrow when shed sobered up since she was embarrassing herself and me, that line seemed to shut them down.
So the next day she calls me and apologizes profusely and takes me out for dinner and drinks which brings me to now. I havent had sex with her yet and she’s made it clear that’s all she wants but I’m not fucking buying it, not with that bat shit crazy ass outburst. So now I’m left to figure out fuck her and risk the crazy fallout or cut my losses. All suggestions on this one are welcome!
 
 
That asshole VK (kidding obviously, dude seems really cool and we’ve actually exchanged some emails) had a Childish Gambino song on his blog the other day but I don’t give a fuck and I’m putting up one too for the song this week since its directly correlated to this post. We can have a bench off if he wants to settle it. If you don’t know who he is check him out, dude is crazy talented. He’s got 2 mixtapes and an EP if you want any of them they’re free downloads and if you’re too lazy to look for them email and I’ll send you the link.

Keeping it classy

So the weather has finally turned which leads to one of my favorite past times, the barbecue. At the first sign of warm weather my friends and I instantly decided to fire up the grill and round-up as many friends and random girls as we could. It’s amazing how many people you can attract with booze, food, and sunshine. We decided to flashback to our college undergrad days and make jungle juice (I mean who the hell doesn’t like jungle juice) and also purchased natty light for old times sake as well. Natty Light paired with steaks from Whole Foods is truly living the dream my  friends!

We ended up with about 25 people or so at the house, pretty decent for such an impromptu get together. The booze was flowing freely and before you know it everyone was drunk off their ass. A girl I’ve been talking to and I ended up in the laundry room making out a bit. Since the laundry room was right next to the kitchen we figured it would be only a matter of time before someone caught us so we decided to do what any other classy professional adults would do and we took our impromptu makeout party to the garage. In the garage things REALLY escalated quickly with one thing leading to another her pants were down and I was plowing her from behind. (not my classiest moment but the raw passion of it was great)

While losing all track of time I hear the door open as my friend comes looking for us trying to catch us in the act (what an asshole right?!) which he of course did. Now I don’t know if you’ve ever been caught having sex before but it’s quite a jarring experience. I quickly pull out and pull up my shorts as if that would prove our innocence but right as I do she was about to cum and she proceeds to squirt ALL over me. Now I’m not talking a little wet I’m talking straight porno style gusher from her vagina. I happened to be wearing khaki shorts and it now looks as if someone has thrown a glass of water all over them! With nowhere to hide  (I mean were in a fucking garage for Gods sake) we head inside to face the music. As we enter the house we receive thunderous applause, whistles, and more jokes than I can begin to remember almost all of which aimed at my soaked shorts. Note to self dont bang girls in garages anymore.

Frank Ocean has been in constant rotation for me for about the last month. As soon as the sun goes down and I want something chill to listen to its been Mr. Ocean. If you like his album you can actually download it for free.

Cigarettes Dont Just Lead to Cancer

For those of you that have read my profile you know that I am 30 years old. (by years since birth not in terms of maturity) If you are not that age let me explain what that means, you will be going to A LOT of weddings.

I was in the pacific northwest for my old roommates wedding and experienced one of the best weekends of all time. Heres how it went down (kind of a long one but I think worth it for the payoff):

Since I was in the wedding party I needed to be up there a couple of days earlier than the rest of the other guests so I book a Thurs morning flight up there. One of my best friends hates work more than I do so he jumps on the chance to start the vacation early and books his flight for the same day as me. From the very beginning I knew there was something different about this trip.

No, your eyes are NOT deceving you. The guy in the window seat actually broke out a Playboy! I honestly wanted to shake his hand I just didn't know where it had been.

I get into town a bit ahead of my friend and take the train downtown to my hotel which was the absolute tits, great job by my friend who booked it.
Blah, Blah, Blah, rehearsal dinner, mingling with friends and family till around 8. Now this is where the night could have gone one of two ways. Most of the wedding party is staying at my friends parents house in the middle of the forest miles away from downtown and my friend who came up early and I look to be stranded there as well. We both know that is a horrible mistake as we have a great hotel in the heart of downtown and need to be drinking at a bar not sitting around a fire rehashing old stories. (which I love to do just not on vacation) Right as we begin to resign ourselves to our boring fate like an angel of mercy one of the other groomsmen decides to leave with his wife and they happen to live close to downtown, we seize the opportunity and hop in the back seat.
Our hotel happened to have a pretty fantastic roof top bar so we hit the room for a quick shower and change of clothes and headed up there where we proceeded to start banging back Hendricks martinis. If you like gin give it a shot, I’m usually a whiskey guy but for a change of pace these can’t be beat. After about 4 each were both looking a bit glazed over and realize that the bar is closing. For some reason the place closes at midnight Mon-Thurs but in this case its a welcome relief as a change of scenery is just what we both need.
The bartender tells us about another bar right around the corner that’s cool and we take his word and head in that direction. We both need a change from gin so I audible back to whiskey and bee line to the bathroom while my friend orders the drinks.
When I reach the bathroom I hear a light groan while I’m at the urinal which causes me to turnaround where much like a scene from the Wizard of Oz I see two feet poking out from underneath the stall. I’m drunk and find the scene wildly amusing so I go into the next stall over to look at whats going on where this greets me.

My favorite part is his drink next to him. Definitely gonna need that when you wake up my man.

Drunk myself and laughing hysterically I meet my friend at the bar where he has clearly been hit over the head repeatedly by the drunk monster. His eyes are open but he’s clearly incoherent so I tell him he should probably head back to the hotel and crash and that Id be fine on my own. He looks at me with equal parts relief and gratitude and he stumbles on his way back to our room,  ahhhhh going dolo once again. Alone with my whiskey and his I sit back debating my next move.

Excuse me bartender, I'll have a whiskey and a whiskey.

After sitting down for a bit I get the sudden urge like so many others when highly intoxicated that I really want a cigarette. Across the street is a convenience store so with new life I walk across the street and pick up a pack of grits. Now while sitting by myself I had noticed two girls at the bar, a strawberry blonde with nice fake tits and an athletic looking brunette and as I come back across the street the blonde is outside smoking. Through years of study I have found out that girls who smoke are much more likely to fuck me after just meeting me so I seize the opportunity to talk to her by asking for a light. We make small talk over the smoke and go our separate ways inside, I could tell she was interested so I didn’t really pursue her and just went back to my table. After some repeated looks and smiles from her and her friend she walks over and asks me to join them which I accept.
Honestly at this point I’m on absolute auto pilot and have pretty much no recollection of what I’m saying but I know its working. Before I know whats going on its 2am and time to leave.  As we walk outside the brunette says I should come with them to her parents condo for a nightcap. The girls live about 45 minutes away but her family owns a high-rise condo downtown that’s empty where they are staying for the night.
As we make the walk to the condo I am in the middle of the two girls and grab both of their hands, hand in hand we all walk until we get to the condo. We go upstairs and the brunette opens a bottle of wine and we make our way to the patio where the blonde sits on my lap. While so close to the finish line this is where things get bad for me as every martini and whiskey hits me head on and I’m greeted with a rather large case of the spins. I tell the girls I need to leave and they insist on calling me a cab which I refuse knowing we are so close to my hotel so the girls ask to at least walk me out.
After we get to the lobby of the condo I realize this is where champions are made and I need to get my shit together because one of these girls is for sure getting fucked tonight soI say to hell with it, let’s go back upstairs. As we’re standing in the kitchen talking we all get exceedingly closer to each other and you can cut the sexual tension with a knife at this point then out of nowhere BANG we all start going at it and making out like crazy.
We make our way back to the bedroom and clothes come flying off in a blur and in a moment of clarity I realize what is about to happen, Im about to smash both of these girls. Some nights the alcohol can kill your sex drive and other nights it can fuel you for the sex olympics this night was definitely the latter. For the next couple of hours I proceeded to bang these girls like the future of the free world depended on it unleashing pretty much my entire repertoire.
By the time we finish up it’s around 6am and I leave the girls in a naked heap on the bed and throw my clothes on. In a drunken, disheveled, champion like glow I stagger into the streets with no idea on how to get back to my hotel. Sparking one last victory cigarette for my walk to bed I randomly pass strangers at bus stops waiting to go to work having no idea of the night I just had. I make it to my hotel room and pass out instantly.
Now at some point me and the blonde must have exchanged #s because when I wake up around 10am I’ve got this voicemail on my phone. (my favorite part is my friend laughing in the background at the end as we listen to it. Oh that and the fact that she’s married! Theres a few dead air spots so you couldn’t hear the names. Sorry I’m not as brave as Roosh or VK.) So the next time someone tells you cigarettes lead to cancer tell them to shut the fuck up and that they also lead to threesomes.
Songs about 5 years old but I’m sure alot of you have never heard it. It reminds me of summertime sex and in the dead of winter who doesnt want to think about drinking mojitos all day then banging some hot chick listening to this song? Roosh is  big fan of brazilian girls not sure if he likes “Brazilian Girls” Sorry its a shitty live version but the official ones wont play on the blog. Take your ass to Youtube and listen to the official version here. Its fucking awesome and if you dont like it may whatever supreme being you believe in have mercy on your soul.

Sleeping with Girls from the Gym by Planting the Seed

As we all know our world is going more and more towards instant gratification. Between twitter, facebook, google, and the rest of the interwebs our society has become now, now, now. While I love the fact that I can instantly find out more about some random chick I saw on TheDirty.com or find the best steak house in Miami, it sometimes takes away from one of my favorite sayings : “first you plant the seed then you fuck the plant.” In a world where everything is now few people are willing to put in the work of growing, watering, and nurturing that plant and then fucking it.

Don't think of it as a gym think of it as your greenhouse.

If you spend any amount of time in the gym you undoubtedly have seen a lot of girls there you would like to bang. If you’re anything like me (and I assume you are if you’re reading this) then the next question to yourself after thinking  you want to bang them is probably how do I bang them.

I’ve read a few people’s thoughts on picking up girls from the gym and I’m simply not buying them. Now I’m not saying they don’t work I’m just saying they don’t work for me.  People should always understand there is no canned line or response that works for everyone. You need to find out what works for you and own it.

Approaching a girl anywhere can be nerve-racking enough but doing it at the gym seems near impossible. Given the fact that you probably have headphones on, she probably has headphones on, there’s a bunch of people around, and honestly she probably doesn’t want you to talk to her even if she does find you attractive because she’s probably all sweaty and doesn’t feel attractive herself. Girls don’t want to be picked up from the gym. If you’re hitting on girls at the gym you look like a fucking creep, I don’t care what you think and no you are not the exception.

Hey douchebag, dont hit on me right now, I'm at the gym not a fucking bar.

Yes I know the title of this post was banging girls from the gym not giving you all the reasons on why you wont bang girls from the gym so I’ll get to it now. In “Crabs in a Bucket” I made a reference to how I look at girls like I want to fuck them a lot,  the gym is no different. (DISCLAIMER: This is an art form and there is an EXTREMELY thin line of coming off really creepy if performed incorrectly so proceed at your own risk.) When I see girls at the gym I find attractive I try to make strong eye contact with them a few times throughout our workout. The next time I see her at the gym (which will most likely be the next day as most people end up working out at similar times every day) I do the same thing. You see hundreds of people at the gym through the course of your workout most of which are nameless faceless people as you go through your routine. She does the same thing and you are the same nameless faceless person to her unless you do something to set yourself apart. With repeated strong eye contact over the course of multiple gym sessions she will now begin to remember your face at which point you can begin exchanging a familiar smile or hello.

I would imagine the place you workout is somewhere close to where you either live or work. Coincidentally I would imagine you probably go out somewhere close to where you either live or work, guess what so does  she. (by she here I mean the dozen or so cute girls at your gym that you’ve got pregnant with your eyes countless times over the past however long you’ve worked out at your gym planting seeds)  Now when you go out to the bar and you see some cute girl from the gym you now have the perfect opener and you already come off safer than a stranger due to the level of familiarity shes built with you at the gym.

I’ve been working out at the same gym for the past 18 months and I’ve slept with 8 girls that workout there. Six Ive approached at bars and 2 have come up to me asking if I remembered them from the gym. Now I know this seems like you need luck to run into these girls out but you don’t need as much as you probably think. This is a very high #s game as who knows how many cute girls there are at your gym and you can be planting seeds with literally ALL of them. (I understand this is a somewhat passive approach but I look at it like this, the gym is a place you should probably be anyway and using the above method is a welcome byproduct of taking care of yourself)

My man Black Joe Lewis and The Honeybears are the shit this kind of music is definitely not for everyone but they’re one of my favorites. If nothing else I’m sure you guys can relate to some of the lyrics.

Crabs In a Bucket

Most people who read this don’t follow me on twitter. (shameless plug) Go follow me now, I’ll wait……….ok good your back. My follower count had damn for sure better be higher when I log in next. The reason I mention twitter is I apologized for my lack of writing due to demands from the real world which obviously none of you give a shit about soooooo on with the show.

For those unfamiliar with the expression Crabs In A Bucket just click on the link for a good explanation of the theory or I’ll give you a half assed one here if you’re too lazy. What it basically boils down to is when crabs are placed in a bucket rather than let one crab escape they pull each other back down into the bucket. Being from the city I’ve never really witnessed a crab bucket battle royale but I’ll take their word for it on that’s how it goes down.

Since I've never seen it personally I'm going to pretend the crabs transform.

Now I was recently out-of-town with some guy friends for a reunion of sorts when what turned into a simple joke with a girl lead to the inspiration for this post.

Obviously none of you know me so you’ll have to take my word for it on this one(much like me taking the word of the crab bucket battle bots) but I flirt with almost every girl I meet. I look at every girl I meet like I want to fuck them. Now the reason I say this is because what lead to my wingman epiphany (ahhhhhh, get it, the crabs are the metaphorical wingmen) was completely and utterly harmless. Our annual guys trip this year was to a friends cabin and while on the way we stopped at the only store within miles to pick up some last second booze and food. The girl working there was maybe a Utah mountain region 6 which basically equates to a San Diego 4 if the math on my abacus is correct. As she rings us up she tells us about the impending snow storm and that there was a chance we could get snowed in at which point I joked about hoping she had a spare couch for me to crash on as opposed to being stuck in a cabin with all these dudes. Her response was that of silence coupled with a look that I proposed an all anal gangbang, not my finest hour but I was honestly just making a joke and conversation and so what if this mountain chick didn’t find me funny. After we leave the store a few of my friends set in on how she couldn’t have reacted any worse to which I definitely agreed. This was funny and I definitely deserved to be made fun of and needless to say I was but it also got me thinking how often some of the guys I’m with are so quick to make fun of those of us that pull girls whenever we don’t hit a homerun on an actual approach.

Quite possibly most of you already know this or have thought about it before but I don’t think it ever really struck me till this past weekend. When most men hear the term wingman you usually think of your buddy jumping on the grenade or your friend who’s great at entertaining a group of people while you play Sgt. Swoop on the girl you’re trying to get. This past week though another wingman service was brought to my attention. You want guys around you that are going to keep you in the right frame of mind, guys who are going to build you up not tear you down,  and preferably guys with balls who are also going to try to talk to girls rather than sit back in the cheap seats and criticize your every move when they don’t have the balls to even get in the game

Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company- George Washington

(well said George, that’s why the title of this blog is Going Dolo)

(I’m sure my man The Rookie will give me grief for my selection of another emo rap song this week but what the hell, I love Kanye and his new album is dope)